LeBron’s Beard, Ray Lewis Motivates Stanford, Poor Minnesota Sports

Ray Lewis Stanford

Take a knee Ray, we need to talk.

LeBron James and his Beard

I’m not in on the joke — what’s the deal with LeBron’s beard? He looks ridiculous. LeBron, that’s how you’re supposed to look 20 years from now when you’re holed up in your South Beach mansion wondering what happened to your glorious career.  If you flipped the beard upside down and put it on top of his head he would look semi-normal.  Is this an “I’m-not-shaving until-I win-a title beard”? I support the beard if that’s the purpose.

Ray Lewis is Pissed off For the NIT Semifinal

I was rooting for Stanford to lose in the NIT Final.  That’s probably the 1st time in history that a non-gambler and non-fan of either school actually cared about the outcome of the NIT Championship.  I was rooting against the idea that Ray Lewis is a motivational speaker.  Plus, those Stanford kids are all set.  When was the last time Minnesota won anything?  Let’s see…

The Gopher State

The Twins won the World Series in 1991.  Some baby somewhere unknowingly watched the Twins hoist the Commissioner’s Trophy (yeah that’s it’s official name (I didn’t know either) — only MLB would name it’s most prestigious award after its least presigious member) and that kid is about to have his first legal drink without ever seeing another North Star state team celebrate a title.  Could be worse.  See Cleveland.  See also Cincinnati and Seattle.

Back to Ray Lewis, turns out he’s a hell of a motivational speaker because Stanford went out and won one for the Stabber. They were probably terrified of the alternative and just wanted to escape to the safety of their ivy league education and guaranteed admission into upper class America.

Why the hell is Ray Lewis speaking to the Stanford men’s basketball team anyway?  Oh, even better, the speech was before the NIT semifinal against my alma mater and a fine institution of higher learning — UMass.  Fuck you Ray Lewis.

I figured it out.  Ray was so upset that he lost to the Patriots again that he decided to get back at Massachusetts by revving up their opponent for the ever-meaningful NIT semifinal.  I can’t believe I am devoting so many keystrokes to the NIT, but this is bigger than that — it’s about Ray Lewis’s decision to pour his heart into helping a bunch of kids that don’t need any help.

Lewis said:

“If tomorrow wasn’t promised, what would you give for today?” he asked the players.

“Leave your legacy,” he said. “Every day is a new day, every moment is a new moment. Now you’ve got to go out and show them that you’re a new creature than you were five minutes ago. Because I’m pissed off for greatness. If you aren’t pissed off for greatness, that means you’re capable of being mediocre.”

Wow, that’s actually not bad, but you’re in the wrong room Ray.  See Stanford kids are already great or else they wouldn’t be at Stanford.  Oh yeah and this is the fucking NIT semifinals!  Not even the fucking NIT final!?

Ray, how about you go fire up the underdog?  Fire up the kids that won’t be guaranteed jobs when they leave school.  Use your inspirational ability on something that matters if you’re so pissed off for greatness.

Ok, that’s all I got.

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Photo by Keith Allison