Jeremy Lin: 31 New Nicknames for Linsanity

We can do better. We must do better.

Jeremy Lin may be the most nicknamed player in NBA history.

Everyone wants to nickname this Knick and most of the names have been awful. Linsanity tops the list of horrors, particularly because it sneaked in as the default term for the Lin movement.

It’s a shame.  This thing jumped up on us all so quickly and next thing you know ESPN has a “Bottomline” entitled Linsanity.

This is such fertile nicknaming ground.  It would be a travesty to just pluck the first stupid label that popped up and use it exclusively. As usual, I blame ESPN and their borderline criminal lack of creativity for propagating Linsanity.

By the way, while we’re on the topic, I recently stumbled upon the televised simulcast of Colin Cowherd’s radio show and it struck me smack in the face — ESPN will put any asshole on the air.

At his best, Cowherd is tolerable — when he sits next to Michelle Beadle on SportsNation — but by himself on a radio show for hours?  That is criminal.

Back to Lin, if we are going to be ridiculous about this, well, let’s be really ridiculous. Let’s not settle for something as tame and mundane as Linsanity.  Let’s shoot for the moon. Leave the cookie-cutter bullshit to ESPN.  Let them please the dim-witted masses with their unoriginal, soft, and sanitized material.  No offense dim-witted masses.

So, without further misdirected rage, here are 31 preposterous nicknames, in no particular order, for Jeremy Lin and the associated craze that I argue are only slightly (if at all) worse than Linsanity (which in case you haven’t noticed is sanity with his last name in front of it and if we’re trying to convey how insane this thing is maybe we should call it Lin insanity, which again is only slightly shittier than Linsanity).
  1. Linacious

  2. Linfectious

  3. Linternal Distress

  4. 017 Secret Asian Man

  5. Green Lintern

  6. Lintage

  7. LinTrap

  8. Lineage

  9. Linternet

  10. Person of Linterest

  11. He’s Just Not that Lin to You

  12. Splendid Linter (see Ted Williams — another man of multiple nickname fame)

  13. Lin on Me (when you are not strong)

  14. Bert Lincaster (born in NYC and regarded as one of the best actors of his generation)

  15. Linfinity

  16. Cunning Lin (“gus” optional as it may be a tad bit offensive)

  17. Just Lin Baby

  18. Chicks dig the Lin Ball

  19. Guns Don’t Kill People, Lin Kills People

  20. Linfinite

  21. Linchpin

  22. Linergy

  23. Lindenburg (in case things don’t work out)

  24. Linvigorated

  25. Linertia

  26. Linsidious

  27. Linsatiable

  28. kilLin it (Tony (who’s fave nickname/catchphrase for himself is Tony backwards = Y Not))

  29. All Lin (Tony)

  30. rambLin Man

  31. Aer Lingus

    (Last minute contributions from Tony: Linderella Story, and Lin City)

Photo by DvYang

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