Automated Insights: Offers CPU-Generated Fantasy Football Ridicule & Praise

Automated Insights

Thanks to a new product from Automated Insights, you can now have your fantasy mediocrity dissected by an automated process.


My team, Quick Slunts, was shredded in this Automated Insights recap.  It’s a nice gimmick.  I was amused to see my team’s poor performance analyzed by a computer program.

It will be interesting to see if the technology can evolve beyond Mad Libsian statistical reports.

One glaring omission from this report, for example, is my ill-fated decision to swap out my defense right before kickoff.  I dropped Seattle and their 17 fantasy points against Dallas for Cincinnati and their limp 4 point performance versus rookie QB Brandon Weeden.  This was a great opportunity for Automated Insights to really lay on the criticism, but the report does not even touch that move.

So, here’s the report. Let me just say this about the Quick Slunts poor showing:

I love that if I start Ben Tate he does nothing, but if he’s on my bench he scores 25 points.

I love that Larry Fitzgerald was completely shut down by 2011’s 2nd worst passing defense in the league.

I love that Brandon Weeden suddenly learned to play QB.

I love that Tom Brady suddenly forgot the same skill.

I love that Reggie Bush and Victor Cruz have the best games of their career against my team.

I love that the worst passing defense in the league last year scores 19 points against my team.

Most of all, I love fantasy football for it’s consistency as a horrible and illogical pastime.

Sensei Waxes Quick Slunts, Makes Early-Season Statement

 Sensei (2-0) 146.67        Quick Slunts (0-2) 95.07

Sensei crushed Quick Slunts 146.67 – 95.07 while also putting up the second-highest point total this week. This was a legendary beating, with the 51.60-point margin of victory being the highest recorded in the league this season. Tom Brady led Quick Slunts with 24.97 points while Antonio Brown racked up 15.80. Sensei (2-0, 307.64 points) shifts into first place while Quick Slunts (0-2, 202.50 points) winds up in last place.

Sensei Smooth Moves

  • The Green Bay Packers Defense was the highest-scoring DEF in the league this week with 19.00 points.
  • Victor Cruz scored the seventh-most points in the league and beat his projected point total by 134.4%, the ninth-highest percentage in the league.
  • Reggie Bush ranked eighth in the league in scoring with 34.70 points.
  • The 21.20 points scored by Ray Rice was the eighth-highest score of any RB in the league this week.
  • Sensei had 5 of their 9 starters exceed their projected points.

Quick Slunts Regret Tracker

  • Did not start Ben Tate, who scored 25.70 points and beat his projected point total by 312.5%, which was the highest percentage in the league.
  • Picked up and started the Cincinnati Bengals Defense, which then scored below their 11.11-point projection with 4.00 points.
  • The RBs for Quick Slunts got outscored 55.90 – 21.60 by the RBs for Sensei.
  • At the DEF position, Quick Slunts got outscored by Sensei 19.00 – 4.00.
  • Quick Slunts had 6 of their 9 starters score less than their projected points.

What If

  • Sensei would be 2-0 if they played Quick Slunts every week.
  • Sensei would have beaten nine other teams besides Quick Slunts this week.
  • Sensei would have defeated Quick Slunts 160.97 – 107.43 had they played each other last week.
  • Sensei would be 20-2 if they played every team every week.
  • Quick Slunts would have lost to every other team in the league this week.
  • Quick Slunts would be 1-21 if they played every team every week.

Game Notes

  • Sensei won by the largest margin of victory in the league at 51.60 points.
  • Sensei was able to cover the 4.70-point spread in the win.
  • Two of the starters for Sensei scored higher than the leading scorer for Quick Slunts.
  • The best group of RBs in the league this week was on Sensei, which got 55.90 points from the position.
  • The 146.67 points scored by Sensei ranked second in the league this week.
  • Although Quick Slunts lost, Antonio Brown played well, bringing in 43.5% more points than was projected (15.80 points against a projected 11.01).
  • Although Sensei won, they got little help from Peyton Manning, who only put up 15.97 points of a projected 32.26.
  • Sensei exceeded their scoring expectations while Quick Slunts failed to meet their projection.

Follow the Drunken Sportsmen on Twitter & Facebook and you just might impress a member of the opposite sex.

Comments, reactions, counterpoints, criticism? Email or call us at or 617-752-2779

Get yourself some sweet threads at our store.

Patriots t-shirt

New England’s top trio.